At Algarve Cup, the Power of Confidence

ALBUFEIRA, Portugal — The power of confidence continually amazes me. The concept is simple, yet true confidence can be so illusive. Anson Dorrance (my former coach at North Carolina) often speaks about the three pillars that comprise every great athlete: discipline, competitive fire and self-belief. Initially, I took self-belief and confidence to be interchangeable. Recently, however, I’ve begun to distinguish between the two.

I have an overriding faith that I am on the path to becoming the player I dream of being. I feel good about the training I do. I have pride in my strengths as a player, and know that I am consistently improving every other aspect of my game. This is self-belief. It is the platform on which confidence can be built.

For most of us, finding true confidence is somewhat like a roller-coaster ride. It can build and build, until you forget that there’s any other way to feel or act. And then, in an instant, it can plummet. Sometimes it doesn’t even take a mistake or criticism from a coach — it can be as simple as second-guessing yourself, or reading into a situation that’s out of your control. The test of every athlete is to maintain a consistent level of confidence — never feeling invincible or complacent, but always maintaining a mind-set that allows for no doubt and no concern for the opinions of others.

When I am truly confident, I notice and applaud my teammates when they do something well. My mistakes are laughable and I am focused only on the joy I feel when I play. I make instinctive decisions, and even the little bounces seem to go my way. When I lack confidence, I am focused mostly on myself. I compare myself to others. Things that can possibly go wrong, do. It’s like I am not only combating an opponent, but myself as well.

As a professional player, I’ve identified this as an ongoing cycle.

I go through phases of being supremely confident, and at other times my confidence falters. I try my best to take advantage of those high moments, though, and to minimize the not-so-good ones.

At the beginning of this trip, my confidence wasn’t great. I started to worry about things that are not within my control, and I became focused on not making mistakes, rather than just playing. Through changing my thought process and bringing back my focus to being in the moment and enjoying it, I was able to regain some confidence in training these past few days leading up to the Algarve Cup.

At this level, confidence can literally make or break a player. Everyone who steps on the field for the national team has the ability and tools to succeed. It is confidence that allows those tools to be used in pressure situations, and which can be the deciding factor on who makes a roster or is in the starting lineup.

As we begin the Algarve Cup, every player here (without exception) will have her series of ups and downs. Even Coach Pia Sundhage admitted, in our tactical meeting last night: “Soccer is feelings. It’s not only thinking and decisions.” Nothing can beat confidence. And success cannot happen without it.

In Portugal With the Emergency Brake On

ALBUFEIRA, Portugal — Hello from Portugal! As Whitney Engen says about our current location in the Algarve, it is very “aesthetically pleasing.” You won’t catch me using a term like that, but I decided to quote her because it’s probably the best way to describe this place.

The trip over was not bad at all. I didn’t realize that the flight from the East Coast was only six hours (short!). After we landed in Lisbon we had a several hour bus ride, but I slept through most of it and then we were at our beautiful hotel. The resort and spa where we’re staying for our three-week trip overlooks the Atlantic Ocean.

The field where we’ve been training is only several short, but eventful, few miles from the hotel. And by eventful, I am referring to the driving situation.

We have vans, which are manual transmission. For the most part, this has not been a problem (nor a smooth ride, but who’s being picky). There was one slight snafu when Nicole Barnhart, who we call Barney, attempted to drive us home from training the other day. We should have known things were not right when she had trouble getting the van into reverse to leave the parking lot. But it only dawned on us that something was awry when we tried to drive up the first hill.

Yeah, the shifting of gears had been a little rough (she definitely revved the engine and peeled out a couple times), but the hill was an even greater challenge. As we sat, almost stalled, halfway up the thing, I really didn’t think we were going to make it to the top. We ended up grinding up in first gear, and as we all breathed a sigh of relief, one of our other team vans pulled up next to us.

“Maybe you should try taking off the emergency brake.”

They said it smelled like burning rubber while driving behind us. So, that was the culprit! We all laughed the rest of the way back and went from joking with Barney about her driving ability to praising her for being able to negotiate the drive with the brake on. Not even her Stanford education could have prepared her for that!

The rest of the trip has been a lot smoother than our drive back from training that day.

We’ve been working hard, playing a lot of small-sided games so far. Whereas last camp had an emphasis on fitness, this trip has more of a tactical emphasis. We will play Japan, Norway and Finland in our group games of the Algarve Cup.

Each of these opponents will present a unique style of play, allowing us to approach each game with slightly different tactical objectives. It’s all part of the learning and building process to prepare for the World Cup this summer in Germany. More to come. …

A Valentine to Mom and Dad (Mostly Dad)

DURHAM, N.C. — As I threw my bag of balls and backpack over a fence, and proceeded to jump it to train on a muddy, middle school field Monday morning, I laughed to myself. Not because I am a professional player and have access to almost any facility, and here I am sneaking onto this tumbledown field that I happened to see while driving by; not because as I jumped over the fence, my shoes got lodged in the mud/straw mixture that was covering what should have been grass; but because I thought, “if my dad were here, he would be jumping this fence right along side me.” I feel strongly that he did these kinds of things with me when I was younger. Both of my parents instilled in me the joy of being creative and finding places to train. They are distance runners, and any time our family went anywhere — vacation or a soccer tournament — the first thing they would do is scope out a route to do their run. To this day, anywhere I go with my dad, we identify cool places to kick a ball around … maybe a lit parking lot, tennis court or a small patch of grass with a brick wall near it.

I learned the art of making it work not because I “should” or “have to,” but because that is one of the things I love most about my job and the sport I play. I don’t need a pristine, grass field. I thoroughly enjoy days like Monday when I find a random “field” (if you can call it that), pull my car to the side of the road, and lace up my boots. And I would have never known that joy or appreciated those moments if it had not been for my dad.

‘It’s O.K. to Throw Up’

MONTCLAIR, N.J. — “We’re going to push you hard. It’s O.K to throw up.”

Those are words you never want to hear before beginning any type of physical training, but that is what Coach Pia Sundhage told us before to the start of our recent training camp in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. While no one vomited, the camp was intense and physically taxing, as she had promised. On my trip home Wednesday night, I felt like I was getting a migraine (for me, a telltale sign that I am worn down to my last reserves), and that was when it really hit me how hard we had worked.

The first four days of the six-day camp we had two sessions a day, including two fitness tests (a VO2 max test and the beep test) and a 90-minute scrimmage — all in the span of 48 hours.

http://youtu.be/weEe4V0Ot2Y

Lying in bed the night I flew home, unable to sleep because of the painful pulsing in my forehead, I started to think to try to distract myself from the agony.

I thought of when I began this blog almost exactly one year ago.

At the end of the camp in Florida, Pia announced the Algarve Cup roster. I am one of the 24 players traveling to Portugal on Feb. 20. My first blog post was written last year, right after I was selected for my first Algarve Cup roster. In 2010 I wrote, “I remember being in preseason with Sky Blue F.C. one year ago when the national team players came back from the Algarve Cup. Since I was 9 it has been my dream to play for the national team, but last March it didn’t seem to be close on my horizon. …”

Between then and now, my expectations have changed.

About 700 days ago, I had no anticipation of being invited to be with the national team in the near future. I’ve always believed that if I continue to work hard, I will eventually get the opportunity to have a shot at my childhood dream. At that time, though, those players were part of a different world — a different level of fútbol.

My biggest adjustment has been mental. I’ve gained the confidence and experience to know (rather than just dream) that I can play at the highest level.

Of course, I still have a lot of work to do and a long way to go, but that knowledge has allowed me to have full belief in myself and my training.

Now I am competing for one of the spots on the roster for the World Cup this summer. It’s fun to look back and evaluate my perspective not too long ago. Hopefully two years from now I can read this and feel that I’ve come equally as far. Maybe what is just a dream today, will have become my reality over the next two years.

In the Women’s Game, It’s a New World Order

I really appreciate the comments readers have posted on this blog. After my previous post, one reader asked for my thoughts on how we stack up going into the World Cup this summer in Germany. Obviously, not such an easy question to analyze, but I’ll try.

It’s only my opinion, but I think most people would agree that a great deal has changed since the days of the 1999 World Cup (the last time the American women were world champions).

From what I’ve seen, many countries have made huge advances in the women’s game. All over the world, especially in Europe, teams of athletic, skillful and soccer-savvy women are being assembled. Maybe financing in most other countries doesn’t come close to what is provided the United States, but the rich soccer culture elsewhere is definitely spilling over into the women’s game.

That said, we have some great up-and-coming talent in this country as well. Going into the World Cup, I think the U.S. always has a huge advantage. Physically, we are superior to most teams. In addition, we are stacked with players who know how to win when it’s important. From Christie Rampone, who was part of the Women’s World Cup championship team in ’99 and has two Olympic gold medals, to a number of N.C.A.A. and W.P.S. champions, the roster is full of winners. I believe that can be the deciding factor in a tight game.

Soccer-wise it is true that we’ve had some unexpected losses and slightly shocking game results lately. We come from a women’s soccer culture that is used to success, and anything less is considered disappointing or a failure. I think it’s important, however, that we adjust our mind-set with the changing times. Even men’s World Cup champions Spain don’t dominate and win every game. The more time that goes by, the more competition we’ll see from around the world, and the same, winning results can’t be expected or taken for granted.

Granted, scores may look different, but then what about our brand of soccer? It’s interesting and complex to analyze the U.S. women’s national team style of play and how it’s changed over the years. Coach Pia Sundhage now is challenging us to play a possession-oriented game. It’s an attractive way to play, and combined with the speed and versatility that we have in the attack, with players like Lauren Cheney, Amy Rodriguez, and Abby Wambach (to name a few with different, yet effective tools), we have the potential to field the best women’s team ever to play this game.

The American women have always been solid defensively. I would say that’s our strength as a team. Starting with that as our backbone, the challenge is to successfully adopt Pia’s philosophy and combine it with the physical gifts and win-at-all-costs mentality that truly separates our team.

So how do we match up going into the World Cup in Germany this summer? It all depends on how the pieces come together. There is no doubt that we have every tool necessary to be champions. But now, so do a handful of other countries (among them Germany and Brazil). We will have to be at our best — peaking physically and mentally, as well as being technically and tactically sharp.

And now you know the kinds of things we meet about nearly every day after dinner at a national team training camp!

Speaking of training camp, I left Thursday for a six-day training camp in Florida, leading up to the selection of the roster for the Algarve Cup tournament in Portugal in March. We will do fitness testing on the first day and then play a lot of small-sided games, with the emphasis on fitness. I’m looking forward to it as an opportunity to get better, continue to fight to earn a spot, and see some much-missed sunshine!

In China, an Encore With Meaning

CHONGQING, China — Anyone who has stood on the field while the United States’ national anthem plays knows that sometimes it can feel like an eternity. In the stands, you can simply enjoy the song and feel patriotic, but it’s never quite the same as when you’re about to compete. “The Star-Spangled Banner” takes on a new meaning, especially when you’re representing your country.

My thoughts during the national anthem has changed over time. I used to focus on the game. That can make me nervous, though. Now I try to feel gratitude for the opportunity to do what I love, and to do it wearing my country’s national team crest. I think of all the girls who dream of being where I am, and all the times I cried and fought for this opportunity.

On Tuesday night in China we beat the hosts, 2-0, to win the Four Nations tournament. After the first three games of 2011, I would say the team consensus is that it was good to have pulled out the win, but we still have a lot of work to do to be where we want to be.

I got my first cap at this tournament in 2007. Since that time, I’ve been in and out of camps, on and off rosters. I may not be the most experienced player for my age, or the most accomplished, but I am very proud of how much I’ve improved over the past four years. And I still feel that I can be so much better. I am O.K. being patient with myself and the process, and I take a lot of pride in constant improvement.

My first goal in 2011 was to make the roster for this tournament. I try to go into tournaments with an open mind, obviously aiming to prove that I can contribute, but mostly just focused on soaking up as much information and experience as I can. At this point, I have to focus on what I can control — and that’s being ready for any chance that I get. It can be stressful being a sub. Often, I find it more mentally draining than starting. You have to be completely plugged in and ready at all times, never knowing when (or if) your moment will come.

I’m happy that I got to play in all three games (I played the second half against China). Every opponent has a different style and feel, and these differences are more drastic in international games, as opposed to college or Women’s Professional Soccer. Sweden is very European in its play. The players read the game well and look to counterattack. Canada is an athletic team. It plays high pressure and attacks at pace. China is very possession-oriented. Its players have excellent technique and timing and they are well organized. It is an important step for me to feel the differences in playing against these styles.

On Wednesday we will begin our trip home. We have a few days off, and then a training camp in Florida. For me, it’s about maintaining a balance. On one hand, I feel thankful and proud of myself in moments like during the national anthem. But there’s also a hunger in me to learn, to grow, and I am never quite satisfied with what I’ve done. My journey continues. …

In China, Plugged In, but Unplugged

CHONGQING, China — I’m sitting at the desk in my hotel room, trying to think over the relentlessly obnoxious honking taking place on the street below. This would usually be my cue to take a break from writing and go on Facebook. Not in China, though. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube — basically anything fun — is blocked. We’ve also discovered that topics or historical events that may be controversial to the country are blocked from Google. My roommate, Lauren Cheney, and I have made a game of seeing what is and isn’t prohibited. These are the things we found to do in our spare time, especially on game day. Our first game of the Four Nations Cup was not an ideal beginning to this year’s journey to the World Cup in Germany. After a 2-1 loss to Sweden, Coach Pia Sundhage pointed out, “We can say, ‘no regrets,’ but why not instead say, ‘enjoy the journey.’ ” At the time it was easier said than done … we hate losing.

Franck Fife/AFP — Getty ImagesU.S. national team coach Pia Sundhage was a nominee for FIFA Women’s Football Coach of the Year award. The award was won by Silvia Neid of Germany.

On our day off between games we took a walk to a couple shops right outside the hotel. People stared at us, as we towered above the general public. The multicultural society in the U.S. makes it common to see people who look vastly different from us and it would be rude to blatantly stare, as people do here. But everyone we’ve met has been friendly and gracious, especially our team liaisons and the hotel staff. They are enthusiastic, want to be good hosts and help us in any way possible.

Personal spatial boundaries are another thing that differs here. It’s not unusual for us to be shoved, elbowed and even boxed out — off the field. We first experienced this in the airport, where we were barged in front of in line several times before starting to push back. The other day there were about 12 of us packed into the elevator after training and when it stopped on another floor on our way up, a father pushed his son in and proceeded to make space for himself as well. Now that I’ve started to recognize some of the cultural differences, I’ve gotten used to what first came as a shock.

Sunday we beat Canada, 2-1. Pia used all five subs and played a lot of players who don’t have much experience. My North Carolina teammate, Meghan Klingenberg, got her first cap! I played the last 25 minutes against Canada and the second half against Sweden. Game minutes are invaluable to me at this point. Personally, it’s all about continuing to gain confidence and getting comfortable enough to “play my game” in pressure situations.

Next up: China on Tuesday. If we win and win big, we could take first place in the tournament. But right now, it’s more important for us to continue building and have a strong performance. And if we do that and win, it will certainly be easier to “enjoy the journey.” It would also be nice if this honking would stop.

Code Words for 2011: Play Happy

CHONGQING, China — Somewhere in my journal, “2011″ is written big and bold across an entire page. The same thing is hanging on a piece of paper on the wall of my room in New Jersey. I wrote them two years ago, signifying my goal — to represent my country in the FIFA Women’s World Cup in Germany. Also in my journal is written “2008,” the year of the last Olympics. I did not achieve that goal.

“But without pain, there’s no pleasure. Without failing, there’s no success. I’m a perfectionist who’s not perfect.” — Ron Artest

I love that quotation. I’ve been playing this sport for 17 years. How, after all that time, can it still have the power to simultaneously make me feel so motivated, defeated, excited, demoralized and inspired?

My journey, like anyone’s who is passionate about something in their life, rolls along like the ocean’s waves. It never settles, never ceases to make my stomach churn, makes me uneasy with doubts and insecurities, yet it embodies a power like none other. The disappointments make the successes even more special, and striving for perfection in this “un-perfectable” game makes the chase so exciting.

This year presents me with new and exciting opportunities.

First, to accomplish a childhood dream: the possibility of making the World Cup roster. Also, a new W.P.S. club team and brand new franchise, the Western New York Flash. Both will be adventures, filled with their unique challenges and opportunities. But what I’ve come to realize is this: equally important to how you deal with the results of any challenge is how you approach it. I have decided that my fútbol motto for the year is “play happy.”

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of playing not to make mistakes (which are inevitable anyway), in fear of squandering this wonderful chance. But I’d rather enjoy the challenge, and approach it with a smile on my face, like the 9-year-old me, who explored the sport she loved with complete abandon, and decided, on a whim, that she would dedicate her life to it.

As I write this, I am on the other side of the world in China. My journey has begun and I’m with the national team at the Four Nations Tournament where we will face Sweden, Canada and China.

It took us a solid 24 hours to get here, and I’ve finally adjusted to the 13-hour time difference. It couldn’t be more different than the Home Depot Center in L.A., where most training camps are held — from the language, to the smells, to the food options, to the man running across the street holding a chicken in his hand. But I find that when I step on the field, it’s all the same.

Fútbol is fútbol, no matter where you are (one reason why I love this game so much). For those moments when I’m out there playing, my only focus is doing my very best and working hard to get better and try to earn the right to step on the field to represent my country. If I am able to do those things, I will be very happy. But to be able to do them, I must “play happy.”

As I encounter these opportunities in the New Year, I know, without question, how I will cope with the inevitable turbulence. Those are the skills I have honed over the years, although it is still never easy. The new challenge is how I will face the waves. And my aim is to run into them, with a smile on my face, ready to be knocked down as many times as it takes to finally catch the one that will take me to new heights.

So, welcome to my blog in 2011. My aim is to share with you my thoughts and experiences as candidly and thoroughly as I am able.

In W.P.S., A Job, An Adventure, A Challenge

As much as I love this sport, and as much as I am living my dream every day, sometimes it isn’t easy and sometimes it isn’t fun. Last weekend Sky Blue F.C. traveled to Boston and got rocked (for lack of a better word) by the Boston Breakers, 4-0. The last time I can remember losing by that kind of margin was to a boys’ team. What they don’t tell you when you’re a 9-year-old juggling in your backyard, fantasizing about becoming a professional soccer player, is that for every wonderful day, there is likely to be one just as difficult. The challenge is to make both equally worthwhile. Easier said than done. But as the cliché goes, all you can do is “control the controllables.” A couple of weeks ago in Atlanta, I roomed with my former North Carolina teammate Kendall Fletcher. Sky Blue F.C. was in dire need of a win, and as Kendall and I lay with our legs up on the wall (resting them in an attempt to make sure we were fresh for our game the next day) we discussed personal and team difficulties.

Kendall was a member of the St. Louis Athletica before the team folded. She was picked up by Sky Blue F.C. as a developmental player and has now worked her way into the starting lineup. It’s easy to think you’ve had a difficult season, but it’s often humbling to listen to other players and realize that you’re not alone. Don’t get me wrong, I realize that all of us live relatively privileged lives, and that not winning or not starting are far from the struggles that many people in this world endure. But as W.P.S. players, this is our livelihood, this is our passion — and with ambition can come pressure and the risk of disappointment.

What Kendall shared with me is an important element of her mind-set throughout this season. She focuses wholeheartedly on getting better every day. Something really struck me about this. Striving to get better is something that I love about this sport, about anything in my life really. This is what excites me, motivates me. This is why I love to play, to spend countless hours performing simple techniques over and over. And this is something that every player and every team can control — no matter what. Despite how difficult or adverse the situation, there is something to be learned and improved upon. Likewise, when things are flowing and going well, there are lessons to be taken from that feeling as well.

What we all search for as we ride the roller coaster of our own ups and downs is a constant. Some find it in religion, some in a particular philosophy or idea, some in a combination. Kendall reminded me that she does this, in part, by focusing on personal improvement. But at least now when someone said, “Control the controllables,” instead of rolling my eyes, maybe I’ll think, “just get better.”

Our next game is at home Sunday afternoon against the Philadelphia Independence, an excellent team that is solidly in second place. When I think about the way they have been playing (many of those players are my friends, and have been my teammates in various situations), I give them a lot of credit. They are a great team, and look confident at the moment. That being said, I wouldn’t mind Sky Blue F.C. putting a damper on their enthusiasm!

Sky Blue F.C. and the Power of Seven

Here are my top seven reasons why Sky Blue F.C. could make another late-season comeback and win the 2010 Women’s Professional Soccer championship: For those of you following our results in W.P.S., it is no secret: Sky Blue F.C. is struggling. But it is also no secret that in this league, with seven enormously talented teams, anything can happen! What follows are the reasons why no one should lose hope in Sky Blue F.C. … because we, the players, certainly have not.

¶History No other team in W.P.S. has come from last place to win the championship. (Yes, W.P.S. has only one season under its belt, but I decided to exclude that detail.) And this season, we have not even been in last place!

¶Innovation The other day we played a mean game of kickball at training. For the record, my team won. I am not really sure how this will help us, but I think it is fair to say that no other teams are employing such innovative training techniques.

¶Leadership I just tried to search Guinness World Records to see if we hold one at Sky Blue F.C.: Most coaches for a sports team over two seasons. The category does not exist, so I am just going to go ahead and say we have the world record! We have now had five coaches in only two seasons. This unprecedented feat could seem like a drawback, but really we have become malleable and wise. Each of our leaders helped to shape the group we have today and imparted tidbits of fútbol knowledge that we carry with us. Our current coaching staff believes in us wholeheartedly and is working tirelessly to help us succeed.

¶Competitive Fire We have a player who rivals Paulie D’s (from “Jersey Shore”) blowout. Just Google Image Daphne Koster and you will see that she clearly has a cooler “Jersey Shore” hairdo than anyone you will find on the show. With that kind of competitive fire, how could a team not be successful?

¶Logic F.C. Gold Pride is currently ranked No. 1 and we beat them, 2-0, last time we played them. So, shouldn’t we technically be in first place?

¶Morale Our coach, Rick Stainton, tells us jokes before practice. I doubt any other team gets such a quality laugh before training.

¶Experience The majority of our current team was part of the W.P.S. championship team from last season. We have Olympic gold medalists, a Women’s World Cup winner, N.C.A.A. national champions and on a personal level, I was the World Class Soccer Camp soccer/tennis champion for multiple years in a row. So, we surely know what it takes to win.

I have to admit that this was originally supposed to be a Top 10 list. Maybe if you come watch our next home game on Aug. 11  you can help with the last three reasons we could pull this off. Looking at last year, you understand why there is more than hope; there is experience to back it up. All we have to do is make it to the playoffs (top four teams). So, one game at a time. …

Thinking Back to Teaneck Armory, and Playing for the Sake of Playing

“I remember watching you play as a high-schooler in the Teaneck Armory … be that player.” Sky Blue F.C. was in Philadelphia, ready to take on a team which has defeated us twice. We stood on the turf, in humid, suffocating heat under a scorching sun. We were coming off of two demoralizing losses and had just made a coaching change. Just before our team cheer, Jesse Kolmel, our new assistant coach turned to me and said the words above. Cliché? Possibly. Meaningful? Incredibly.

At the time, Jesse was most likely trying to simply get my mind off the heat and give me some momentary motivation to have a good game. But what he said to me has become the framework of my new career goal.

Upon reflection, I realized that playing indoors as a high-schooler in Teaneck, N.J., with my World Class club team was one of the last times I can remember feeling completely free. I could feel myself improving, I was confident, and playing with pure joy. I could try things, make mistakes, and I was unstoppable. Despite the environment, this is the feeling that I am in search of — that every athlete who devotes countless hours to training is likely to be in search of. This is the player who I want to be, and can be, inW.P.S. and for the women’s national team. I am aware that it will take time, but my mind-set is there. I am, from now on, every time I play, that girl from the Armory, who without a care in the world could feel the magic of the ball at her feet and create on the field without pressure or consequence.

Sometimes it takes a reminder like the one I got from Jesse to find that passion again. Mentally, the last couple months have been rough for me. I always work as hard as I can and do the right things for my body, but sometimes it can be too much mentally. There is a lot of personal pressure that comes with knowing you are doing everything possible. Sometimes it is best to let go, to feel the hard work paying off, and to focus simply on the joy and not the results.

As W.P.S. players, we love our job, but now, a little past midseason, we have practiced together more hours than I can calculate and played vastly more than 1,000 minutes of game time. I don’t know one player out there who doesn’t face mental and physical challenges throughout the season.

You never know how what you do or say can affect another person. Jesse, without knowing it, said something that really struck home for me. I could not be more appreciative, and no matter the scores of the coming games, and what national team rosters I do or do not make, I will seek to forever be that 16-year-old girl who loves playing just for the sake of playing.

I plan to take that mentality back to the field in our next home game against Chicago at Yurcak Field on Sunday.

Good Fútbol Won the World Cup

What is good fútbol? There is really no one correct answer to that question, and all players, coaches, and spectators have differing opinions for which they can make many good arguments. Sometimes it’s hard to put an ideal style of play into words — maybe it comes as an image or a feeling. Sometimes good fútbol doesn’t win, and sometimes winning fútbol isn’t good. My definition of good fútbol just won the World Cup.

Watching Spain and F.C. Barcelona (with a few exceptions, pretty much the same team) play over the past couple of years has helped me to define what I find beautiful about this sport. Granted, this is all my opinion … but I think that the Spain/Netherlands final said a great deal about the direction of the modern game. What I witnessed, game in and game out during the tournament, was the success of teams who are technically superior to their opponents. The Netherlands, like Spain, not a traditional world powerhouse, employs a pride in keeping the ball and using it to break down opponents.

I used to love the tricky, flashy players, but those whom I’ve come to appreciate more and more (maybe, in part, because it reminds me of my own style) are the simple, consistent playmakers. To me, Xavi and Iniesta are brilliant. They are the maestros leading the show, and they do so with few touches and extremely simple decisions and techniques. Yes, games can be, and often are, won on moments of individual brilliance, but for me, good fútbol is defined through cooperation and the fluidity of interchanging movement. For one player to perform a skill — that is cool; for two to combine and pull something off — that is impressive; for a group of people all to be on the same page and produce fútbol like Spain does — that is art.

I don’t think that good fútbol is necessarily always successful. I was so happy, though, to see a team that represents something I feel very strongly about succeed.

Peace, love, fútbol.

Father's Day, World Cup, W.P.S. and More

From South Africa to Anderson Park — soccer is a game that transcends the field on so many levels. I want to start with a quick Father’s Day shout-out to my dad, Paul. I’m sure there are a lot of great dads out there, but my father is one of my best friends, my coach (in life and soccer), mentor and so much more. He took me to my first practice and took me after to buy spikes (as he called them) and shinguards. He watched videos with me to learn about the game, drove me to team trainings and has been my biggest fan throughout. His belief in me has been my motivation through the hard times and he has not only inspired me to go after my goals, but also showed me the way. He still times my fitness, throws me volley, and is there through the tears and frustration, but also the great moments.

The World Cup so far has been yet another reminder why fútbol is such a fascinating game. In few sports could a team as talented as Spain lose to an opponent that they dominated as thoroughly as they did Switzerland. Then, Germany’s euphoric 4-0 thrashing of Australia before a defeat to Serbia.

There have been moments of brilliance and then absolute blunders — mistakes you expect would stop after the days of youth soccer. I guess that’s what keeps me tuned in, recording and watching as many games as I can — you really never know what is going to happen. I love how every team has its unique style and personality. So far my favorites (in style of play) are Spain, Argentina and Brazil. Spain makes the game so simple. Its passing and movement off the ball is exquisite — my ideal vision of how the game should be played. Argentina and Brazil are so dynamic and attacking-oriented. Any player on the field for them can take over and change the game, yet they work together, interchanging, in such a free-flowing style. They make the game look like art.

The ups and downs on the field are only the tip of the iceberg. If you just look at the fans in the stands you can see that the World Cup is about so much more than fútbol. It’s about national pride, hope and the world coming together to enjoy some great entertainment. Whichever team prevails (I really hope it’s Spain!!), it will be a long road, strewn with ups and downs.

This bumpy path is one that is familiar to anyone who plays, or is a fan of the game. Sky Blue F.C. is currently navigating its own ups and downs of theW.P.S. season. We recently traveled to Boston and defeated the Boston Breakers, 2-1, on a penalty kick in the 90th minute. To be fair, Boston dominated the game, and we were lucky to come away with three points. This past weekend we were beaten, 4-1, at home by the Philadelphia Independence. It was a poor result, especially on our home field. So now it’s time to regroup and look at what we can do to be a better team and grab the three points on the West Coast next weekend.

During the five-hour bus ride back from Boston, I had a lot of time to think and write in my journal … but more than write, I read — looked back through old lists, quotations, goals.

I love this quotation by Thomas Buxton that I rediscovered on the bus ride:

“The difference between one person and another, between the weak and the powerful, the great and the insignificant, is energy — invisible determination. This quality will do anything that has to be done in the world, and no talents, no circumstances, no opportunities will make you a great person without it.”

I was reminded of it a second time the other day when I was talking to my friend, Sola Abolaji. Sola has played pro fútbol at various levels and is currently training and coming back from a knee injury. He is one of the few people I have ever met who completely gets the insanity with which I pursue my dreams. When it comes to crazy, the cliché it takes one to know one, couldn’t be more accurate. Sola might be the only person I know who trains more than I do and is more obsessed with every bit of the minutia of fútbol.

In many ways, he has been my mentor and he constantly teaches me about the game, the process of trainin, and a lot about myself. We were talking about passions, goals and aspiring to greatness. Sola said, “I think everyone wants to be the best they can be.” My response: “Yeah, but there’s being the best you can be … and then there’s doing everything in your power to make it happen. A lot of people do their best. But we do more than our best. We do crazy things!”

It’s so hard to explain the drive I have. It goes beyond hard work, goal-setting, achievement. It is a mental, emotional and at times a spiritual commitment. This commitment that goes so far beyond the physical effort is that it doesn’t really guarantee anything. If anything, it only guarantees that at some point you will be upset, frustrated and disappointed. I’m sure that at times people who care a lot less accomplish a lot more (this applies to any area in life, not only fútbol). So why care so much and make that extra emotional investment?

I bet you were expecting an answer to that question … but it’s one that I ask myself all the time and still have no clear reason! Why do I care so much? Why does this game have the power to make me cry, scream, or feel such devastation or elation? I’m not quite sure. But what I do know is that I empower it to do so. And anyone who has something in their life that can make them feel this way has empowered that thing by being passionate about it.

I find great personal fulfillment in the way I pursue my fútbol dreams — with abandon. I hope that everyone finds something in life that they are passionate enough about to which to devote themselves fully. Maybe it is raising a family, playing an instrument, teaching math, or an athletic endeavor. But the more of yourself you put into something, the more special the return.

I am constantly reminded, in so many different and unique ways, why fútbol is so incredibly special to me, and why much of the world shares this feeling. As I sat on my living room floor one afternoon replaying and pausing Mexico’s World Cup goal against France several times so I could explain to my grandma the offside rule, I couldn’t help but smile. She’s visiting from San Francisco, and probably never looked twice at a game until well into her 80s. But here she is, watching game after game, asking for clarification on offside, talking about how Germany had the most decisive victory so far in the tournament, and telling us that Ronaldo and Messi are her favorite players. My grandma!

On Sunday, after watching the World Cup games, I went to Anderson Park (in Montclair, N.J., the site of my first ever soccer practice) with my sister and best friend, Shira, to help her train. She got home last week from Stanford. I didn’t play with her because I was sore and tired from training, but I threw her balls and led her through a technical session similar to what I do a lot of times. As I made suggestions of things to try, and she did them with ease and understanding, I remembered so clearly why she is my favorite person to play and train with. At the end, I sat in the grass while she stretched and we laughed and talked … I couldn’t help but think that if this was all this game had brought into my life — moments like this — then I would be satisfied.

Game Is Beautiful, on and Off the Field

“Everyone knows what offside is but no one can explain it. It’s the same as love.” Amazing quotation!

I heard it at the end of the German film “Eine Andere Liga” (“Another League”) at the second Kicking & Screening Soccer Film Festival in New York City.

I helped to introduce the film with Ethan Zohn (the winner of “Survivor: Africa” and the founder of GrassrootSoccer). I talked a little bit about the power of the game and how fútbol has influenced my life and had such a great impact on me emotionally and spiritually, as well as physically. More importantly, though, I listened to Ethan speak and was inspired by him and all that he does to give back through the game. I was honored to be surrounded by a crowd of people who love the game from a different perspective than I’m used to. I am so involved in the day-to-day world of players and coaches that it was really refreshing to meet and speak with new people who primarily view the game as a way to bring people together and influence social change. It reminded me once again how powerful the beautiful game can be.

The film was moving and I found that I could relate to it in many ways. It’s about a young Turkish woman in Germany who loves fútbol and receives a diagnosis of breast cancer. She finds redemption through the game, which helps her to regain her strength, battle the illness and move forward with her life. Although the players in the film were not especially elite, they were not meant to be. There was little emphasis on success on the field, but instead importance was placed on the personal relationships created and the rewards of being part of a team.

I’ve found that throughout my professional career thus far (all two, long but fascinating years of it) I go through phases of learning and having new realizations. And it always seems that I learn the lessons that I need right at the appropriate time, when I am so ready for them … ready for new inspiration. The people involved with Kicking & Screening, as well as viewing the film, reminded me that my involvement in this game goes beyond last weekend’s game or yesterday’s practice. It goes beyond the goals I have posted on my bedroom wall, or my training plan written in my journal. Fútbol gives us the power to connect with people, to influence and in turn to be influenced in ways that are truly special. Just when I start to fret about my performance, or a slightly strained hamstring, or not having enough energy to do my weight lifting after a long day, things are put back into perspective so quickly … fútbol is about much, much more than that.

I wish that I had more free time to take part in events like this, or to get involved with fútbol more off the field, but it’s a challenge to do this during the season. While I do try to keep a broad perspective, my focus has to be on the here and now.

Right now, Sky Blue F.C. is in fourth place. We traveled to Philly to play last past weekend, and although we felt that we played most of the game in our attacking half, we lost 2-1. The result was especially disappointing because we didn’t feel that it represented the flow of the game. After playing for a dominant college program (North Carolina), where three losses my junior year tied us with the worst season in the history of the program, it’s strange to get used to losing. No, we don’t plan to lose, nor do we accept it, but during the long W.P.S. season, and given the quality of every opponent, a handful of losses are inevitable.

Similarly, individuals will have ups and downs. This year I’ve found that I am not analyzing each practice and game as much as last year. I don’t get as hung up on every comment from our coaching staff, read media match reports and replay situations over and over in my head. I do try to learn from my successes and failures, but once it’s done, it’s done. It’s liberating to be able to move on. I already care more about the game than what is probably a healthy amount, and I have a clear vision of the player I want to be and what it takes to get there. So it is helpful for me to keep moving along that track and keep the outside influences to a minimum, while expanding the joy and inspiration I find in the game.

This newly adopted approach also allows me to better enjoy so many other aspects of playing. When I’m not so concerned about results and outside input, I can be focused in the moment to do the best that I can and enjoy doing what I love with such talented, funny, and interesting people.

Speaking of the people in the W.P.S., one of my long-time friends and teammates, Nikki Krzysik, plays for Philly. I’ve known Nikki since we were 10 years old, when we traveled to England together to tour and play a couple games. We live about seven minutes from each other in New Jersey, and played on the same World Class club team from the time we were 15 until we went to college. Nikki is one of my best friends and it’s always fun to play with and against her. I’ll always remember the first time we played against each other during our freshman year of college. When Nikki’s University of Virginia team came to play in Chapel Hill, we scored first, and I remember running back past her and kind of smiling, like, “Ha, I went to the better school!” Then U.V.A. tied it up, and she ran past me, with the same smirk. We joke about it now, but the friendly rivalry has continued. In fact, I had the urge to go run past Nikki after we tied up the game this weekend, just to return that smirk, but she was on the other side of the field and my legs really couldn’t afford the extra 40-yard run after our goal.

I find that on most W.P.S. teams I have several close friends or former teammates. The league is still small enough that most of us know one another, and although we plan to destroy each other on the field, it is always great to catch up after the game. It’s amazing how we slide tackle one another, yell at each other for fouling our teammates, and do everything possible to win, but at the end of 90 minutes embrace like none of it happened and genuinely smile and say, “I miss you. How have you been?!” Now that I think of it, it’s similar to the message in “Eine Andere Liga”: the game is about so much more than what happens on the field.

This week, Sky Blue F.C. travels to Boston. We are planning to drive up in time to watch the U.S./England World Cup game. I’m so excited for the World Cup to start! Our team is doing a pool in which we predict the score and winner of every group game. My money is on Spain to win the whole thing (I will still be cheering for the U.S. men, but $5 was on the line, so I had to go with my fútbol favorites of the moment).

More to come as I continue my journey. I am so grateful to be involved in the beautiful game!

Counting Down to (That Other) World Cup

Less than 400 days … and counting. … I was finally home this week after a nine-day stint on the road.

The trip began in St. Louis with Sky Blue F.C. We tied the Athletica, 2-2, which is not a bad result for an away game — particularly considering that our team took a couple more minor injury hits in our pregame practice. We can laugh about it now, but at the time we were freakin’, to use H.A.O.’s (Heather O’Reilly’s) terminology. Daphne Koster and Jessica Landstrom collided while doing an agility drill. If you’ve ever seen either of those two play, you’ll know that a confrontation is likely to leave the opponent flattened — so you can only imagine what it looked like (and even worse — sounded like). Daphne’s teeth went through her lip and into Jessica’s head. It was not a pretty sight.

Hours after practice, at our team meeting, they wandered in straight from the hospital, both stitched up and looking dazed. As Daphne ate her dinner (she sipped soup through a straw), we all realized that the chance of them being ready for the game was slim. Jessica ended up subbing in up front, but Daphne was out for the count. Oh, the craziness of the W.P.S. season!

The morning after the game, H.A.O. and I woke up at 4:45 for the trip to to Cleveland for women’s national team training camp and a friendly against Germany. Brittany Taylor and the St. Louis girls making the trip were somehow lucky enough to be on a slightly later flight. Our Sky Blue F.C. representation was complete with Christie Rampone also flying in from New Jersey. I was tired from the game and from the long day of travel, but it took little time for me to be refreshed and ready to go.

After lunch and before training that afternoon, Pia [Sundhage, the head coach of the national team] sat us down and talked about being grateful and making the most of every day and every session. It seems so obvious, but it was an important reminder for me, especially during a long season with Sky Blue F.C.

It’s so easy to get in the rhythm of training every day and working hard, but so easy to lose that sense of purpose that I have when I’m really inspired. Sometimes, I fall into that trap of just going through the motions, although still putting in a lot of effort, especially as I get mentally and physically tired during the season. Pia’s few sentences helped me to re-focus, made me feel incredible gratitude for the opportunities I have, and reminded me to be intentional with everything I do on and off the field.

As the Cleveland trip went on, I was searching for a theme for this posting. I had jotted down some notes, but nothing that motivated me to sit down and write. I had been stumped for multiple nights in a row. Then we had a meeting with Dawn Scott (the national team’s sports scientist).

401 days. That was the count from Dawn’s first PowerPoint slide. And there was the inspiration I had been looking for.

That was the count until the start of the FIFA Women’s World Cup in Germany. And by the time this blog is posted, it will be less. 401 days to train, prepare, recover, plan, improve, analyze, and cover every aspect of the game — mental, physical, tactical, technical, and emotional. And even less than that until the roster is selected. 401 days.

Some months ago I wrote the number 2011 across an entire page in my journal. That’s the year of the next Women’s World Cup. And at the time I wrote that I was not a starter for Sky Blue F.C., nor had I been called in with the national team for nearly two years.

But I made it my goal and I’m not embarrassed to admit it. I have nothing to lose.

Dawn’s point was twofold. First, what can each of us do to give ourselves the best possible chance of being on the U.S. roster in Germany? Second, what can we all do individually so that the team has done everything possible to be the best in the world and win? From what I’ve seen, the collective team attitude is phenomenal. At practice early in the week, Pia called us in at the end of playing and said, “O.K., cool down.” H.A.O. blurted out what all of us were thinking. “Nooo! Come onnnn,” she wailed. “O.K., five more minutes,” Pia said, relenting.

While the time between now and the World Cup may seem like a lot, before we know it, it’ll be 301, 201, 101 days and then the World Cup will be around the corner. It would be a shame to let a day pass without doing something to bring myself closer to that 2011 goal that’s written across the page in the front of my nearly full journal. No matter the outcome, though, I want to know that I did everything possible.

We beat Germany convincingly, 4-0. I played the last 15 minutes. It’s always hard to step into a game of that pace toward the end, especially in the middle of midfield. It’s good practice, though, to experience a different role. I focused on trying to warm up as thoroughly as possible, because otherwise your body literally goes into shock. It’s amazing how going from low intensity to game speed can have your legs dead and lungs burning after three minutes. It was another great experience to learn from — for both the team and me personally.

Already that 401 is down by a few days. It takes extraordinary discipline to make the most of each day.

The players on Sky Blue F.C. recently received an email message from Coach Pauliina Miettinen: “Most people want to avoid pain, and discipline is often painful. But we need to recognize that there are really two kinds of pain when it comes to our daily conduct. There’s the pain of self-discipline and the pain of regret. Most people avoid the pain of self-discipline because it’s the easy thing to do. What they may not realize is that the pain of self-discipline is momentary but the payoff is long-lasting.”

O.K. Let’s play ball.

Oh, one other thing before I forget … I will be part of the Kicking & Screeningfilm festival in New York on Friday evening, June 4. You might want to check it out. I’ll be on a panel with Ethan Zohn, the founder of Grassroots Soccerspeaking about our challenges and lives in soccer. Soon to be a major motion picture? Ah, not quite yet.

A Day in the Life of a W.P.S. Player

I really appreciate the comments I’ve received about this blog, so please, keep them coming! If there are things you want to know, I’ll do my best to answer. It’s true that W.P.S. may not get the media coverage of most professional sports, and the scraps that fans do get often give little insight into the day-to-day goings on with the team and players. My experience may not necessarily be typical (I live at home and have been known to have a somewhat unique approach to fútbol), I’ve tried to outline what my life is really like — not the intricacies and extraneous tidbits, but the real bread and butter, for lack of a better term, of my experience during the season.

I’ve heard various comments about how W.P.S. players don’t live the glamorous lifestyle of most male professional athletes. This actually never occurred to me until it was brought to my attention, because I am living my dream … and more. If you had asked me 10 years ago to describe my ideal life, I couldn’t have painted a picture more perfect than the one I live right now. Yes, maybe I do roll up to practice in my green, 2001 Honda Civic with 120.000-plus miles; maybe I do pay out of my own pocket for my weekly massage; maybe I do pack my own chocolate milk and sandwich as a recovery snack for after training, but I could not be happier doing what I do, and the fact that I can earn money doing it seems so unbelievable, it often makes me laugh.

Throughout the league, there is a strong feeling that we’re all in this together and we want the league to succeed. I think it is generally accepted that no one plays in W.P.S. to get rich and famous; our rewards come in the ability to do what we love, for as long as we can. The majority of players play because we are passionate about the game and we hope that one day, those little girls in the stands will have a chance to also realize their dreams of playing professionally.

My alarm goes off at 8 a.m. every morning so I can leave the house by 8:30. I live at home, in the same room I had growing up. My medal from my first team, the U-8 Orange Bullets, is sitting on my shelf, and my signed photo with Anson Dorrance from when I was 12 is hanging on my wall (eventually, he became my college coach). I take an iron supplement and then eat a big breakfast, typically egg whites on wheat toast and yogurt or cereal. It takes me about 45 minutes to get to training, but it’s worth it to get to live at home for a little while longer. Most of the team lives closer, either in houses with several other teammates, or with host families.

Lately, we’ve had an unfortunately large crowd doing rehab on our sideline during practice. Jenni Branam, Carli Lloyd, Tasha Kai, Meghan Schnur, and until recently, Christie Rampone, have all been working to get back on the field. The good news is, as the season goes on and all the teams start to get worn down and tired, we’ll hopefully tip the balance by having some great reinforcements joining us! It can be hard at times knowing that we’re not at full strength, but the absence of several key players has given some others an opportunity to step up. For example, while Schnur has been out, Danielle Johnson, a developmental player, has stepped in at outside back and done a great job. She is just out of college and I overheard her recently say that she wasn’t even expecting to be drafted. Next thing she knew, she was playing in front of 5,000 fans, marking Marta.

We have a team meeting after each game to review video clips to learn from our performance. There is always an interesting debate on certain tactical issues. We all come from different backgrounds and it’s still early enough in the season that we’re trying to get on the same page. Pauliina [Coach Miettinen] has laid out the way she wants us to play. The thing is, Daphne Koster is used to defending one way in the Netherlands; Jessica Landstrom is familiar with a different style in Sweden; the University of North Carolina crew is used to high pressure; and Rosana comes from Brazil … enough said for her philosophy when it comes to defending. (Brazilians are known more for their attacking flair, and for some reason, whenever we meet about defending, the usually quite fluent Rosana no longer speaks or understands English!)

This past weekend I met the team at the airport the morning before our game in Atlanta. They typically take a team bus, but since I live close to Newark Airport, I meet them there. I suspect our away trips are nothing like other professional sports teams, but we are treated well. Besides some early departure times and long layovers, we really can’t complain. Although we are rarely recognized in public, we do travel in matching Sky Blue F.C. jackets, which often raises questions from people in airports, restaurants, and hotels. The most common inquiry seems to be, “Is this a basketball or volleyball team?” We have a lot of tall players, so it’s not a bad guess. People do seem genuinely interested when we tell them about W.P.S., though. We are building a fan base, one curious person at a time.

I always love game day, for many reasons. First, I get to sleep in. With the amount of training and travel we do, I can rarely get enough sleep, so this is a bonus. I also like to take a long nap, especially when the game is late and there’s a lot of time to kill. After breakfast our team goes for a walk and stretch. Then we have the day to ourselves until our pregame meal. For home games, we’re on our own for pregame meal, but on away trips it’s always provided.

Our game last Sunday against the Atlanta Beat was at 7 p.m., so we arrived at the stadium around 5:30. This game was special because it was their home opener — in the recently completed first W.P.S. soccer stadium. The stadium is beautiful, the grass is pristine and that night the weather was perfect. As our team bus pulled up to the stadium, and I turned off the techno music that I had been listening to with goalkeeper Karen Bardsley, I could feel the excitement. I try to find something special to look forward to in each game — not that playing and representing Sky Blue F.C. is not enough, but it’s a long season, and sometimes it’s a challenge to take every game as seriously as the first. But it’s hard not to get pumped when you’re playing under the lights in front of a big crowd (there were more than 7,000 at the game). My teammates often joke with me because I’m so nonchalant and relaxed before games. While everyone is in the locker room jumping around and dancing, I like to lounge quietly in my chair. Heather O’Reilly is known to get the most riled up, and this past game she was in rare form. We laugh about our differing game preparation, and one game H.A.O., as we call her, came bouncing over to me and intensely yelled in my face, “Yaya, pump me up!”

I never take for granted walking out as a starter for any team, and I try hard to make it a special moment for myself. Every time. The game was somewhat of a struggle for us. Atlanta had a lot of great chances, and Karen Bardsley was absolutely extraordinary in goal. Thanks to her and an own goal by Atlanta, we won 1-0. It was hard to know how to feel after a game like that. I was glad that we won, but I still was not satisfied with the way I played and how our team performed as a whole. (Not to take any credit away from Atlanta … they played well.) I gave away the ball more than I should have in the first half, but I was proud of myself for continuing to stay involved. After a few mistakes, it’s easy to not show for the ball quite as much, but I tried my best not to let my confidence drop. For me, this was a personal victory.

I expressed my mixed feelings about the game to Pia (Coach Sundhage of the U.S. women’s national team) in an e-mail and asked her for some feedback. I told her that although our results have been pretty good so far, I still feel that Sky Blue F.C. has yet to click and really find our attacking rhythm. Her response was interesting, and very important. “Yael, always remember to respect the game and the opponents!,” she wrote. “Your start has been awesome!” True. We are in second place.

I know exactly what Pia meant, because she has said this to us before. There is no such thing as an ugly goal, and you should celebrate the same after your team’s seventh goal as you did your first. There is no such thing as a not-so-good victory, and you should treat every victory with the same appreciation and excitement. In that way, you respect the game and the opponents.

The truth of the matter is that it is our job to play the sport we love in front of thousands of fans, and we get paid to do it. And Sky Blue F.C. has a winning record right now — something we did not achieve until the playoffs last season. So Pia is right. Our start has been awesome!

Five Pieces, Some Easy, Some Not

It has been my dream since I was 9 years old to be a professional fútbol player. Since that time, everything in my life has in one way or another been tied to fútbol. Not only do I love the sport, but I genuinely love the process of trying to be the best that I can be. I don’t see my fútbol career as separate from my existence, but instead it is a part of who I am and how I view the world. Here are five seemingly random, new (or semi-new) things in my life and how they all are intertwined and related in some way to fútbol. Sky Blue F.C. vs. F.C. Gold Pride (Part II)

In an interesting coincidence, we opened our season against Chicago with a win, then lost to F.C. Gold Pride, beat Chicago again and then lost to F.C. Gold Pride, 1-0, last Saturday night. Early in the week it was in the 40s and we were wearing sweats at practice and by game day it was well into the 90s!

The sudden change does not bode well for someone who sweats as much as me (I normally change jerseys at halftime to keep the first row of fans from leaving). I knew it was going to be hot, so for the 48 hours leading up to the game I went on an intense hydration regimen. I finished two, gallon bottles of water, loaded with special electrolyte mixture and did several painful ice baths to make sure my muscles felt as good as possible. I think it all helped because I felt relatively good on game day. For a recap of the game, you can go to here.

Recovery Tights

About six months ago I invested in a pair of compression recovery tights. The idea is to compress the muscles to increase blood flow and help them heal/recover more quickly and efficiently. I’m not sure if it’s mental or actually physiological, but these things are magic! I wear them every second that I’m not training and sleep in them every night. I swear that I can train eight hours a day and then put on my recovery tights and my legs are good as new. (If anyone wants to donate a new full-body recovery suit please me know!)

Smoothies I recently went on an online buying spree and one of my purchases was the Magic Bullet blender. It makes smoothie making incredibly easy. I’ve been experimenting with various concoctions and I think my best so far includes frozen mixed berries, a little bit of strawberry yogurt, a banana and some orange juice.

I’m going to be trying all different mixtures, though, with cucumber, squid and tapioca balls up next on the “attempt” list. It’s a great snack for after practice or on a hot day. I’ve been paying a lot of attention to my diet because the more I fine-tune my training, the more I realize that every bit matters. Eating well is so important to recovery and maintaining high-level performance.

Hand Surfing

For those of you who have never hand surfed, this is a must-try. Hand surfing isn’t new for me, but every year when the weather gets nice, it re-emerges on my drives to and from practice (I live about 45 minutes from where we train and play with Sky Blue F.C.). Hand surfing is when you put the window down and let your hand ride the air current created by the speed of your car. It’s extra fun to hand surf with good music playing on a sunny day. Hand surfing can be a complex activity. You can vary the level of how into it you get as a direct correlation to how stupid you want to look to other drivers on the road.

My commute to “work” every day has become an essential part of the season. I love the time by myself where I can think, or sometimes not think and just hand surf and blast the music. I’ve established a rule for myself … after a game or practice, I am allowed to feel however happy, angry, frustrated as I need to be on the drive home, but once I leave my car I let the emotions go. This is an important mental health practice to get through a long season of ups and downs.

Stumbleupon.com

Check it out. You can sign up, choose your interests, and then “stumble” through the Internet’s infinite wonders. You click the “stumble” button and it takes you to a new Web site that might interest to you. If you don’t find something you like, your next great find is just a click away. I’ve found a lot of amazing photos that I like, some jokes, good quotes and more. Warning: If you have an addictive personality or are a procrastinator, this Web site could be dangerous.

Here’s my most recent favorite “stumble” titled “The Daffodil Principle.” I try to live by this principle and I love this story.

“One bulb at a time. No shortcuts — simply loving the slow process of planting.”

I firmly believe in doing the little things methodically and consistently. This applies to almost any aspect of life, and especially fútbol. If someone were to watch me train on my own, they would be shocked at how simple my training is. I repeat the basics over and over again until they become second nature. And I am passionate about the little details that may seem boring or unimportant to some people.

“The Daffodil Principle” is simply that: “Learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time — often just one baby-step at a time — learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.”

Knocked for a Loop on the Road

My roommate for Sky Blue F.C.’s trip to Chicago last weekend was Kiersten Dallstream. It’s always nice on away trips to room with someone new who you don’t know well. I feel really fortunate that there’s nobody on the team who I wouldn’t want to room with, so I can’t really go wrong. But I haven’t spent much time with Kiersten, so I was happy that we were paired together. It’s amazing how well you get to know your teammates, being on the road with them so much. I find that each time I sit next to someone on the plane, bus, or at a meal, I learn something new. A professional team is different from a youth club team or college team. Everyone is coming from a different background and are at varying points in their careers and lives. We have women who are just out of college, and some who are married and have children. There are players who have grown up in New Jersey, and some, like the Swede Jessica Landstrom, who had never been to the U.S. before. I’ve learned that Katie Schoepfer used to play the oboe, Rosana was a tae kwon do champion, and Heather O’Reilly and Karen Bardsley recently took up guitar as a hobby.

The trip to Chicago started off fairly typically. We had a good training session, ate dinner and had a team meeting. Then Kiersten and I watched TV and talked for a while before going to sleep early. Everything was going great until I woke up at 12:30 a.m. and felt a little bit nauseous. I thought if I just tried to go back to sleep it would pass. Wrong! I was up pretty much all night, vomiting, until 9 a.m. when I finally went to see our athletic trainer, Paul Kolody. By that time I could barely walk, felt absolutely terrible and was dehydrated. Writing this and reflecting on the experience can’t even begin to accurately relate the state I was in. Paul took me to the emergency room at the local hospital to get me an IV to replace some of my fluids.

When we got to the ER, I was so lightheaded and weak that I couldn’t stand while they checked me in. They had to get me a wheelchair. Two hours later I was still sitting in the waiting room with Paul, and I was feeling a lot better after taking a nap and drinking a couple of Gatorades. I thought, if I could just hurry up and get an IV then I’d feel good enough to possibly play that night. It was taking so long that we were about to just check out and leave, when they finally called my name. After getting two bags of fluid pumped into me, the hospital security guard drove me back to the hotel (Paul had gotten a taxi back earlier to go tape ankles and do other preparation for the game).

Now that I think back on how I felt at the time, it’s pretty comical that I was still planning to play. I got back to the hotel about five minutes after the team had left for the stadium. I felt better, but still weak, and my stomach was uneasy. By the time I was back in my room I had ruled out playing, and thought that I would lay down for a few minutes then get a taxi to the stadium to go watch the game. I woke up two hours later, just before halftime. So much for that plan!

I watched the game on Web site’s MatchTracker (which, for those of you who have never tried it, is an excruciating experience). I stared at the screen, waiting for any information to pop up. It was a terrible feeling not to be able to play, and especially not to even be at the game to watch and support the team. Finally, in the second half, MatchTracker informed me that Tasha Kai had scored for us. I watched the minutes tick away, laying helplessly in bed, hoping that we could hold off Chicago until the end. Finally the game was over … relief! I sent a mass text congratulating the team on our victory (it was pretty much all I could do to contribute).

I eventually began to doze off at a little before 9 p.m. and all I could think was, ‘I hope this never happens again!’ It was a terrible feeling to be so helpless. Not only was I physically incapacitated, but I felt that I had let my team down by not being able to be there. I realize that in the long run, it’s only one game that I missed and I am fortunate that it was not something more serious. I couldn’t help but hate the feeling of being unreliable in that moment. I pride myself on being a reliable person and player, and in this circumstance, my team couldn’t count on me. I know that none of my teammates were upset or felt that way. After all, as they told me later, my face that morning was literally green I looked so sick. They all knocked on my door when they got back to check on me and were only concerned with me getting healthy, which I appreciated. It was still an awful feeling nonetheless.

On a brighter note, I will be back on the field on Saturday, entertaining Marta and F.C. Gold Pride at Yurcak Field in Piscataway, N.J. I’m feeling a lot better, why don’t you come and see for yourself!?

A Loss, a Journal Entry and Some Random Thoughts

I was in the San Francisco airport last weekend waiting to take our red-eye flight back to the East Coast after our first Sky Blue F.C. road trip of the season. I was sitting on the floor while Carli [Lloyd] and Tash [Kai] tried to secretly take photos of an interesting character at the gate across from ours. The highlight of his attire was definitely the mining-style hard hat with a head-lamp. Not quite sure why he would need that on the plane but I guess if the power had gone out in the airport the joke would have been on us. This entry is going to be a bit different — to mix things up a bit, I decided to make a list (I love lists!) of my favorite “most recents.”

Sky Blue F.C. Game We played F.C. Gold Pride and lost, 3-1. The first half they came out hard and put us under a lot of pressure. It was their home opener and they had the better of the play for the first 45 minutes. At halftime we were down by 1-0. In the second half I think we really stepped it up. We tied the game, but unfortunately couldn’t hold. I was happy to play 90 minutes and I think that my performances continue to improve, which is important over a long season. I feel so much better this year than I did last year at this point in the season, so that is encouraging. We were disappointed with the result, but it is so early in the season and I think our team is yet to click. Rosana said something important in our team huddle after the game, “Sometimes you have to lose to win.” It’s true. In the long run, this loss was not a bad thing. Now we are focused and intent on improving so we can get the better of Chicago, when we travel to play them next weekend.

From My Journal

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much or suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Meaningless Thought. Each other should be one word! I always type it that way and then have to change it when the little red squiggly line comes up underneath it.

Meaningful (or at Least in My Opinion) Thought. This is somewhat related to the Roosevelt quotation, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about fears and things that hold us back from being who we dream of being.

I think that this new train of thought arose when I started to really tweak my diet, hydration and recovery thanks to Dawn Scott’s suggestions. I’ve always worked as hard as possible, but this is an area that I’ve really fine tuned lately, and it led me to realize that I truly do everything possible to be my best. Whether it’s physically, mentally or emotionally, I give everything I have to fútbol. I believe that this is the best way to go about any goal — to decide what you want and then fight for it, devoting everything you can to the process. But sometimes it is a scary feeling to know that you’re holding nothing back. I used to often say, “What if I do everything possible and that still is not good enough or I still am not able to be the player I dream of being?” The thing is, there’s no way to know that unless you try. And it is impossible to feel any regret if you’ve done the best you can.

Song Played on My iTunes. “God of Wine” by Third Eye Blind

Sky Blue F.C. New Tradition. Before each away game, we all put $5 into the pot and then select a name of a teammate at random. Whomever’s selection scores our first goal that game gets all the money. This week’s winner was Katie Schoepfer. She drew Laura Kalmari’s name and Laura scored our goal against F.C. Gold Pride. I had picked Carli and I told her that if we were around the box I would only pass to her. Now that I think of it, she did have one run in behind the back line where I tried to slip her a ball through, but we didn’t quite connect.

Addition to My To-Do List. Buy smoothie ingredients. I recently bought the Magic Bullet blender, so I’m going to start making smoothies for after training. I need to stock up on some frozen fruit and maybe protein powder.

O.K., back to the regular format.

It was really nice to see my sister, Shira, last weekend. She plays for Stanford, so she got to go to the game and hang out afterward, and the next day. I know that I’ve mentioned Shira before, but every time I see her it reminds me again why she is my best friend and my biggest supporter. There is no way I could do what I do without her as a friend and training partner. Although we are different, we basically look like twins.

Apparently, when we were watching the game, a concerned fan came up to her and said: “Yael, why are you not out there? Are you injured?!” These kinds of things a lot happen to Shira. I’m pretty sure she’s also signed a few autographs as me in the past.

At Yurcak Field, in the Same Place at a Different Time

PISCATAWAY, N.J. — I forgot how much fun it is to play at Yurcak Field in front of a home crowd! As I drove up the gravel driveway and into the parking lot for Sky Blue F.C.’s home opener last Sunday, I had this eerie feeling that no time had passed and we were picking up right where we had left off at the end of last summer. I walked into the familiar locker room, the uniforms hung in their usual places and sat in the same seat I had last year. But as much as it was all so much the same, it was also different.

None of the players who had sat alongside me on the far side bench are still on the team. I went to take my jersey off its hanger and I took the No. 13, rather than No. 10. I looked one more time at the lineup, and felt proud to see my name — quite a different start from last year’s home opener when I didn’t see the field. Despite these obvious differences, there was also an intangible change in atmosphere. There is a confidence about our team this year. It comes from a combination of factors. In part, it is that we are defending W.P.S. champions, but more that we know we are well prepared and each of us understands, and is capable of, our individual role. Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of the tension from the previous season — the pressure of constant sub-par performances, both individual and collective.

But all it took was for Rosana to play our team’s ritual Brazilian song, and all the good, funny memories rushed back. Even as I write, I realize how scattered my thoughts were at the time. As I fought back some unpleasant memories and tried to move forward to a fresh start, it was a sentimental moment playing again in our home stadium.

I lay on the locker room floor for a few minutes, with my legs elevated on the wall. Hanging above me was a poster titled, “Moments.” It’s funny how sometimes you see or hear only what you need and the timing couldn’t be better. I’ve read this quotation more than once, and even have the same poster at home, but it wasn’t until reading it then in the locker room that it really hit home for me. It’s much longer than this, but here’s the gist of it:

“In every game there are moments that define us. The moment the ball is in front of you. The moment it goes by you — the moment it hovers in front of the goal. … How do these moments define you? … The time is today, the opportunity is now, the moment is yours. Take it. …”

– Trevor Moawad

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of the day, the pressure looming from last year, the family and friends in the crowd, TV cameras, coaches — but the quotation on this poster made complete sense and reminded me of the importance of being here, now.

In every aspect of life it’s so easy to get caught up in past emotions or future worries, but I’ve become a lot more aware and appreciative of the instants that ground me, and bring me fully into the present. This was one of those moments. It freed me to enjoy what was going on simply for what it was — music and hanging out in the locker room, a warm-up that we’ve done many times, listening to the national anthem and feeling thankful, noticing an interesting cloud and the pretty color of the sky, playing the game I love under the lights in front of a home crowd — ,and nothing more than that.

We went up, 1-0, against the Chicago Red Stars in the sixth minute of the game, thanks to a great finish from Tasha Kai. That took some of the pressure off of us, but we made the mistake of sitting back a little too much after that, so our team’s rhythm and possession struggled a bit. We were able to hold off the Red Stars for the rest of the game, though, and it was a great feeling to start the season with a win. It took us several games last year to get three points! I played 65 minutes at center mid, and although I was disappointed to come off, I know that it’s a long season. Last season my confidence struggled, so this game was very important for me to feel that I can be effective and make things happen. I did have that feeling at points, so it’s a good starting point for me.

We leave Thursday morning for California to play the Bay Area Gold Pride. My sister, Shira, goes to Stanford, so I’m excited that she’ll be able to come to the game. More after the trip.