I was out at the field this morning in a rage because I felt so incompetent. I had lost to my husband in 1v1s about four times in a row. Aaron (said husband) tried to salvage the day by offering something to the effect of, “Just try to enjoy it.” And I thought to myself, “WHY can’t I do that?!?”
[Yes, this may be a contradictory opening if you read my blog from a few weeks ago, Choosing How To React.]
The answer is the same reason I practiced consistently and trained meticulously for so many years: I don’t enjoy doing things I’m bad at. Trying a new activity can be fun. But no one (or at least no one I know) enjoys doing things over and over that they feel they’re bad at! Activities, sports, competitions become fun when you feel competent, qualified, and dominant. To me, otherwise they’re either boring or frustrating and therefore unenjoyable.
I think that’s also why the practice itself becomes so enjoyable. The better you get, the more aware you become of even small improvements, and your ability to influence them. It’s why beginners get bored with the basics, but experts find them endlessly fascinating. And it’s why consistent training can so easily become a habit once you experience that key “aha!” moment of improvement. You can feel the compounding effects building and the positive feedback loop of how it pays off.
A bad day at the field no longer ruins my entire day, but it does remind me of the joy that comes with the ability and achievement rooted in, and stemming from, practice. It’s incredibly rewarding to feel the results of intentional work. And when you don’t do the work (my most recent time period), well, let’s just say it’s a bit “less rewarding.”